Ok....I'm going to say it, but before I do I am going to apologize to the embarrassment this will cause my family. I'm sorry. Ready? "I don't care about trying to save the planet!" This whole "Save the Earth" crap is just simply that, crap. At this point in my life, I am trying to save myself. Who has time to save the earth also?
These are the reasons that I won't be "going green."
1) Use Cloth Diapers - I'm using disposable diapers until either my kids are potty trained or Pampers refuses to make any more of them. The thought of having to "rinse out" a cloth diaper, then wash it, then reuse it, makes me gag.
2) Reuse Bags - Bringing my own cloth bag to the grocery store. Ok Seriously, who in their right mind thought of that one. When I go to the store I have to remember to bring snacks, suckers, sippies and anything else I can think of to bribe (yes, I said it) my children to behave while we are in the store. Do you think I could remember to bring my own bags? Ha! There are days when I need a Post-It note to remember both kids.
3) Environmentally Friendly Car - No matter what Hollywood wanna-be, jump on the bandwagon, celebrity endorses one of those "green cars," I'm not going to by one. Other than the fact they are expensive and ugly, some of them you actually have to remember to plug in. Ok...picture this....my toddler jumps off the kitchen counter and could have possibly broke a limb. Mommy panics, grabs everyone, hops in the car and ddddddd.....dead! Uh-Oh! Mommy forgot to plug our car in last night. Looks like you're gonna have to wait for that X-Ray until Daddy gets home!
4) Grow It-To be green, I would need to start growing my own garden and invest in a little backyard chicken keeping. Are you nuts? This is the year 2008, not 1958. I can't keep house plants alive and I'm supposed to grow food for my family? We'll starve. (See going green could kill us.)
5) Walk or Bike everywhere. Sure, just tell me where I would strap on 2 car seats!
There are so many more ridiculous reasons like not eating meat because of all the gases it omits. Don't use your cell phone, IPOD, laptop, again, because of these "new to the ear" gases. Don't wear cotton because of how the fabrics treated before made into clothing. Avoid fast food, collect aluminum cans, start a compost pile, decide what you want before you open the refrigerator door, and the winner is....no more helium balloons because they might float into the sky, be blown into the ocean by a strong wind and a fish or whale could choke to death on it. What the heck are the odds of that? The whacko list goes on and on.
So I guess what I'm saying is that I love my garage full of gas guzzling, emission congesting, sport utility vehicles. I also love the plastic bags you get at the grocery store. (they are perfect for putting the really smelly diapers in). I love taking a shower and letting the water run consistently the whole time. I love cranking the A/C in the summer, and turning up the heat in the winter. So there, I said it. It feels good to get that off of my chest.
Cute pic of my little treehugger! Thanks, Auntie M!
3 comments:
Ok hold the presses! Are you seriously trying to tell me that putting stinky diapers in the plastic store bags ISN'T recycling? Great, here I have been thinking I was "doing my part"! (:
Well that is the funniest thing you have written yet !!!! I still can't stop laughing lol. And let me tell you that you DO GAG when rinsing those cloth diapers, I even gag when rinsing out the "green" mold on the top of jars of old food found in the back of the fridge, just so I can recycle the jar! Yeah that doesn't happen often! Pampers are a mom's best friend! Even the rewards program, do you belong to that too?
Just love Coopers picture, he is adorable and the shoes are way cute, the card you sent them in may not be made from recycled newspaper but it is very stylish and hey, isn't that all that counts? lol (:
Love the blog! Cracked me up!
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